seeing red

If you're confused over the next few blog posts, this happened. I dyed my hair red, simply because I could. *shrugs*

I went to a fancier salon with my boyfriend to get our hair done rather than the one I've been on since I was 14, so sadly, my new hair dresser botched my bangs. But that's okay because he gave me amazing red hair so all is forgiven.

Anyway! The boyfriend took me to the Singapore Flyer in what was supposed to be my exciting (some would say romantic; I say a bloody horrific idea of romantic) first time but it quickly spiraled into me having a terrible mental breakdown and almost crying in the middle of the capsule much to his dismay.

I was excited, really I was. The Singapore Flyer is so cool from below and I absolutely love looking at night lights, so it really seemed like it would be a great idea. 

NOPE.

Don't get me wrong, I love the ferris wheel. But I love it because it's small, enclosed and I can decide who I want to go in with me so I can yell at them to sit quietly and still. My boyfriend knows I'm afraid of heights and he insisted that he'll be there so I would't be scared. Naturally, he enjoys the damsel in distress... and I'm just a mess so I agree to anything really.

The flyer was horrible for so many reasons:

• The capsule is huge and can accommodate a hell lot of people that I don't know.

This scares the balls off me. I can't control the amount of people, I can't control the children running around, I can't control the uncles standing at the edge of the door with their faces plastered on the glass. I can't tell them what to do because I don't know them and also because the capsule is some kind of observatory where people can observe. That's the point. But it's scary because anything can happen.

What if a kid runs into the glass? What if it breaks apart? What if it tilts over? SO MANY QUESTIONS NONE OF WHICH CAN BE ANSWERED.

• My boyfriend insists on me standing on the edge of the glass because he's "holding" me

I hate this. I hate standing at the edge of anything. I can't even look down the edge of a railing at a shopping mall because it's scary and I do it with much careful grace and judgement so that I know my glasses won't fall off my face. I am generally a paranoid 21 year old. You get it. I think.

So no I did not enjoy being held and pushed to look outside because at this very moment the outside looks a lot like my death.

• Glass. Everywhere.

Nothing I hate more than glass everywhere. It is scary, it is not normal, I DON'T LIKE IT.

• It goes really slow

Ok, that's the idea right? Even with the ferris wheel, it goes slowly because you want to spend time with whoever it is inside and you want to ooh and ahhh at the clouds or some romantic thing like that. NO. I couldn't get a seat. And I'm under the assumption that seating is uncool. You know what, fuck that theory. If anyone who is scared shitless wants to go up on the flyer, DO THAT. Sit your scared ass down. Enjoy the view from a distance. It's whatever ok, fuck the status quo!

STOP OPRESSING ME.

Scariest thing I've ever been on

I don't know if I took this or if this was when my paranoia kicked in and I almost mauled my boyfriend with my ipad going "TAKE A PHOTO FOR ME BUT DON'T LET GO OF ME"

The view was breathtaking from above. Of course needless to say, I wish I could have enjoyed this without wanting to shit my pants.

"I'm taking this picture... for journalistic purposes"

That was all the photos I took. My boyfriend took pictures of me looking petrified so I'm not even going to post that. Maybe I'll photoshop myself into a picture of the flyer or something like that ok?

The ride ended shortly after this, in which I asked my boyfriend "I was kinda brave huh?" I think he pitied me cos he said yes and just hugged me for good measure. 

I'm sure he's glad we got in for free wtf

We went for a walk along Marina Bay Sands boardwalk after that :) It was kind of a horrible night lol but I can look back and just laugh at everything now. I'm glad that my first time up in the flyer was with my boyfriend, no matter how irresponsible that was... I could have collapsed in fear wtf

Who says you can't take artistic photos on your ipad? ;)

xoxo

i am a horrible blogger

I always use "I'm busy" as an excuse to not blog. But I recently quit my job (again, lol) and my boyfriend nagged me to update my blog since I'm not working anymore. OK LA, here you go.

I have a ton of things to blog about so here's a summary:

1. Singapore Flyer (in which was a horrific and scary experience but bravely took photos for journalistic purposes)
2. River Safari
3. Buying a new iPod nano and mourning the death of my iPod touch (aka i-am-a-tech-hoarder)
4. HORRIFIC EXPERIENCE OF LEAVING MY IPAD AT THE OFFICE ON MY LAST DAY OF WORK
5. Book buying bans and why I need them
6. My new (not so) tech toy: polaroid
7. Visiting The Arts House and exploring Clarke Quay 

Unfortunately, I've been a bum and have been using mostly my ipad to take photos and more recently, my polaroid camera. My boyfriend is holding my dslr captive so it's likely that the next time you see a nice landscape picture taken in beautiful quality is when he (supposedly) takes me to Gardens by the Bay. 

Bye for now!

i am not dead

...yet.

I always say I've been busy but the truth of the matter is I've just been LAZY. Things haven't changed since I last blogged. Although to be honest, I don't even remember what was the last thing I blogged out.

(Until I went to look, haha)

Since my last update I've:

1. Extended my contract to the devil (i.e. my job that's driving me up the wall)
2. Been scouring new jobs to gain newer and fresher experiences
3. Been watching too much TV shows
4. Been a bum
5. Didn't read as much as I said I would
6. Didn't WRITE as much as I said I would
7. Didn't do anything productive that I said would 
8. Bought my macbook (!!!!!!!)
9. Started school on Monday. What a drag.
10. Bought my first ever Daisy by Marc Jacobs perfume (#adult)

I guess now that I have my macbook I'm more inclined to do stuff. On the web. Simply because I find it  convenient, fast and I'm kind of obsessed with it. 

My mind is running too fast. I've got too much to say yet I don't know how to say it. 

I'm turning 21 soon. I've sort of changed from who I was these last couple of months. And for the first time in my life I changed for someone. Someone I care about, someone I love. I'm happy.

And for the first time in a very long time, I feel okay.

I'm okay. And everything else will be okay.

I'll upload some photos soon. I owe a lot of people a lot of pictures :X

mid-week update: working life + 3

Whoops, I pretty much abandoned this place for a while huh? As you may or may not I've been working part-time somewhere and ... things have been rough lately. I suppose this is a venting post but it gets happier (trust me).

I suppose this is where I fail you: as a colleague, as a friend. A good friend I might add. Perhaps I've failed you miserably for being weaker than I should be, for allowing people to step above my head and putting me in a position where I have never felt so unhappy. Maybe you find me ridiculous for merely being able to say "I feel unhappy" without so much as a reason to why. But trust me, even if I tried to tell you everything will pan out to be the most ridiculous.

I don't believe I need to explain myself to you (nor anyone else) about my unhappiness. It is something that is within me that doesn't settle right in my stomach. All the negative energy that's been seemingly passed though to me day after day week after week person after person. I've caught a bug. I failed.

As a person, you are entitled to your feelings. While our feelings may be at two ends of the pole right now I hope you understand where I'm at while I try to understand where you're at. You're right, I make the last decision. But ultimately you know it isn't entirely. I can think about it and make a decision but if I'm refused of it, then it's not my call. The ball no longer is in my court.

On your account I've pondered so much if I should sit my ass down and settle or step out and say something. I was pushed to the limit and I broke. Maybe that's an excuse to some but I know myself better than anyone else. I didn't need to be cradled like a child at all this week - I simply needed a fresher air to breathe and for others to recognize that I'm trying my best.

I am saddened that you feel the way you do and jumping to a conclusion but likewise, you're entitled to that feeling and thought. Am I unhappy? Yes, I am. But I will get through this rough phase. It happens don't it, feeling burnt out? I'm sure you've felt the same way.

I'm willing to reconsider everything, not for your sake not for mine but for the unexpected person who has taken care of me yesterday and to the friends I've made and have come to love.

And with that, I'll stay.

-

Three.
For being my rock, constantly saving me (my hero? hahaha) and most importantly, for loving me. Happiness should always be like this. Here's to many many more to come. 

I love you.

(late) mid-week update: zoo date

i'm pretty bad at this blogging thing. i thought i figured out a system to motivate me to update but to be honest i've been a. lazy, b. swarmed with work (baby steps... but i'm getting through my assignments. kind of.)

this week has been pretty chill so far and it's been raining a lot too. :( 
+ i just got a job offer today to start working at my prev workplace for a couple of days and tmr's the interview so we'll see how that goes. 

oh! and i'm attending this year's singapore writer's festival (which will now be called swf in subsequent blog posts). i saw mick foley today and i was like :O !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we walked by him i think he kind of smiled when i made eye contact with him although i can't be sure .... with all the facial hair. um. let's take it as a smile? don't ruin this for me, let me have my moment.

ps. go google him if you don't know who he is

anyway, i don't really know where i'm going with this post. so before i digress further: i went to the zoo on wednesday with my boyfriend cos he got us free passes. i didn't take much photos though... it started raining a lot midway, sigh. :( we did however go to ALL of the 3 animal shows that were happening that day! SO FUN. 

we also saw babboons getting it on.... these are stories i will tell my kids someday.

a lot of things happened between us on a very personal level. i guess we grew a lot closer that day and we developed a greater sense of understanding with each other. ♡

now on with the pictures:
(not gonna caption lah, they're animals. go figure.)

pps. idk why the first picture is like that? when i enlarge it its like that. halp
ppps. the editing is crap but it's a zoo and it's supposed to be natural so i tried ok

shitty lighting :( but here you go germain, a very enthusiastic picture of me and a baboon's giant ass

i'm gonna end with this picture cause it's cute ♡

mid-week update: friends, assignments and dates

Mid-week update just so I can get into the groove of blogging again. 
(And also an excuse to sidetrack a little bit...)

Monday: Headed to Germain's to go some software crap because my laptop was being a twat and not letting me install the video editor... and much to my amazement the moment I logged into her wifi IT INSTALLED. Wtf. 

So we watched videos and tried to be brave by watching scary movie trailers -_- Not a very good idea considering I went home thinking about Sinister again :S We ended up watching Paranormal Activity 3 (which freaked me the hell out) and Gone! 

+ we had mcdonalds delivered to her house which was a great call cos i came home to nothing lol

Tuesday: Headed to uni for politics class. Surprisingly I'm enjoying the class more now that my presentation is over. Watched some movie trailers in class which I secretly remembered in my head to watch (cos they're all interesting la....)

Didn't end up meeting my boyfriend after my class and before his cos I went filming with Germain at SCAPE instead! Then headed for dinner at our usual place at FEP! :) Headed home after that without even wandering around, which is rare - but I'm incredibly swarmed with the work I had to do for my video/photo journ class. But as someone once said, "hard work does not betray you" so I just gotta persevere. It's only the first trimester afterall + whining won't get me anywhere.

Wednesday: Date day ♡ Yesterday was suuuuuuch a lovely day. It's so good to have a mid-week break from all the madness of school and assignments. + to spend it in the company of your loved one is the best feeling. We headed to Esplanade but ended up at Little India to catch Aku Terima Nikahnya at Rex Theater. 

Lunch at Marina Square's foodcourt. The curry tasted like lemak chilli padi. #disappointed 

I haven't seen a malay movie in a really long time, let alone a romantic movie. I usually steer away but I couldn't help myself!!! Such a freaking sad movie but also quite touching T_T It actually kept me thinking a little bit about a lot of things. Didn't help that midway the boyfriend said the main girl sounds like me wtf. It's kinda like seeing the two of us wayyy in the future except the movie version is sadder. Idk. 

Right after we made our way to Mustafa to just walk around and play for a bit. Then had dinner at Sakuntala which hands down is the best dinner we've ever had together. We didn't even bother instagramming, instead we just dug in and started ugly eating lol. Damn gross. People shouldn't have witnessed us eating like that..... At one point my boyfriend even said "It's so good I think I'm gonna cry" LOL

happy pandas: finding the malaysian version of vivi in mustafa 

After dinner we headed to Marina Bay Sands to just chill the night away and took a bloody long walk to Fullerton via the Helix Bridge. And I must admit, MBS/ASM looks a lot more breathtaking from the other side. So lucky that it was pretty breezy and nice out last night. :) Should have taken a picture, but I was too busy enjoying the scene. Maybe next time!

Date nights are always my favourite.

One more mid-week date coming next week to the zoo! Mid-week dates should be a more frequent thing now to just even out my crazy week and deadline with my video/photo journ class :S

Thanks for last night, baby ♡